An Attempt!

There is somethin which is choking me and i cannot do anything about it...i am tryin hard to reach out, tryin hard to shout but no voice....and then suddenly i am being thrown off this tall building i am falling...falling so fast that i can feel an emtiness in my stomach, the air pushin its way through my hair n my ears hear it all...it hurts ...hurts really bad that i cant scream, falling so helplessly when i don want to...and BAM!!!...am on the groud but it doesn hurt...no hurt at all..rather feels like am floating away on something...my eyes open wide..and i realise i am on my bed...was jus havin my usual nightmare!!!

I , Ray chatterjee, am a successful photographer. I love my work no one can get more lucky than me. i get to capture nature at its best. I capture the fake beauty that ppl project and make loads of money with it. The real beauty is always captured but never rewarded. In this fast growing country i have become an expert at pleasin the indian crowd. i bring them exactly what they want!!...i love my office my work. life cant be better...i got no qualms about anything..i have plenty to buy whatever i want ..plenty of dough...trust me. At the age of 21, any damn normal girl is forced to be jealous of me. And i enjoy it. One helluva selfcentered chick I am. And i am happy about it...if i wouldn have been one i would have never survived. The Media wouldn have loved me so. Anyways enuf about me.....sometimes i get bored myself.

The only thing that is bothering me rite now is this stupid country's govt rules!!
All i wanna do is adopt a girl child and they are makin it so difficult too ..many rules, too many formalities. The bloody media they add oil to the fire. I' ll make a good a good mom ...i am a responsible person...i party a lot, so what i never gt drunk and forget what i am not supposed to do. Now since there is this huge hype...this god damn ashram manager wants me to bribe him so i can get the work done faster....look how bad our system is. a 2-3 days work is goin on for the past one year ....and my nightmare its b'cum so frequent.

let me not waste anymore time writin about all this i gotta go to the court and get my dughter today. Today is the verdict ....am i goin to be a good mother???. finally the media can keep its gob shut after this!!...how stupid they are to give hype to minor things jus to make up some hot spicy news...why don they use the power to do something good.

Anyways i gotta go now...adios!

heven written for long...really long....there was this turmoil within me....n lets say its kinda settled......i was so confused with wat i wanted to do, where would i go, but now things seem to come into pace...i bagged a job!!...COGNIZANT!!
most ppl ask me wats this company is about and where is it...well i explain n explain...anyways...when i didn make it thru tcs ...it was kinda okay...but facin another rejection...the kind of tension that would build up at home...it scared me!! i panicked bad...i cried it all out as usual...cry baby!!

but when i stepped into the classroom to write my test i felt more confident....i began to feel i m not all that bad in quant...neways ..the interview...all heers to jc....wouldn have been a peice of cake without him...n lil dude...ur ans for answerin those c,c++, questions really helped....i steered my way to success...neways lets see whether i really join them...at times i want to...at times...i m petrified by the thot of it....well atleast the storms no longer there...n my sea here is calm...i hape it stays so.