Confused!!
I think this is the most frequent word I tend to use these days...Or atleast it crosses my mind way too many times.
I m gonna start my fourth yr engg now...goin to sit for placements...Sounds like a pretty picture doesn it???
well this can be the worse time of ur life i guess most of us go thru this...its the phase where the metamorphosis of a larvae to a butterfly happens...its a natural process..meant to happen.
then why m i fussin n frettin so much...sometimes i hate myself for this...i know the problem n i know the ans...n i still cling on to it...wat a bitch i m...
what i m confused about is...i don want a job...i m not even happy with what m doin...feels like my education is a waste...16yrs...n the wisdom of books...haz been almost zero...i ve only grown as a person...still growin to becum someone..better...it sucks!!..i sometimes don like the way i m...if i don then who will...i wanna be an activist..wanna fight for the women n children of india...who are deprived of so many beautiful momments....who are treated like they were never meant to see this beautiful world...n they are curse which the community is puttin up with....wanna make them see the beautiful world...want them to feel all the happiness i could have....but my dad ...he says only ppl who don have a good family life go for stuff like this.
partly he is rite...u can never keep ur family happy if u wanna dedicate urself fully to this kinda work....but i dunno....i don even think i ll ever meet the one i want....relationships are suppose to teach you...to give u courage to make the next one your ultimate one...so tht u make sure nothing goes wrong...n u live happily...but somehow...i seem to lack all this...all tht i get is insecured...dunno when s the next time he s gonna come up to me n say...i don want u nemore....is it with men this age...tht they give u everythin n then walk away...or is somethin wrong with me....my temper is it???/ i do not know...i don want to know...sometimes i feel like runnin away from the world n hide in this corner where no one knows me...where my past doesn find me....god i m so sad...i don like nethin i did...m so fuckin pessimistic!!!!
here i go again....i guess i shouldn think so much....i ll go play tennis or basket ball toda...tht shud help...i don wan to create my own hell!!
posted by haz at 12:34 AM
3 Comments:
Hey chill...I know I was going thru the same thing for quite some time...abt 3 yrs then I realized that u can't bend the spoon...u have to bend urself....so u see now...
I wanted to do something worthwhile..but I am doing something that is not right up there but close enuff...but I see the next step and the next but am not too worried abt how I get to where i want to....
And dunno wot idea u got..I didnt hurt someone I loved..i hurt my best friend ever....and now she and I don't talk..and I don't think that going back and explaining things will work...what it will do is open old wounds...hers as well as mine..dunno...
there is so much to say abt how i feel..but not giving myself time to think....keeping myself crowded wid ppl..whereas I hate ppl arnd me...but then there was no other way out...
i like the way u use all that bio stuff to draw parallels..nice work...look capsid...dont think so much..the past is past..u can t change it can u?
so hang in there..there is more to life than lookin over the past and feeling bad..good things are around the corner..just take the corner with caution....
hey man.... u seriously have built up a lot of pressure about n around urself.
just chill yaar..
just do what u wanna do and forget everything else and even everybody else, i dont think it matters in the long run at all..............
whtever........
howz ur selection going ?
what all companies have u been through?
meet u whenu get back here
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